New Saint, Old Sinner

August 6, 2023

“Dear God,
I want to know you, experience you, follow you, and obey you. Please reveal yourself to me. Please show me how you want me to follow you.

When I get caught up with my flesh and all my ideas, I get carried away and overwhelm myself like I can do everything. Yes, I can do a lot of things, but which of those things are actually in alignment with my purpose and what I’m supposed to be putting out into the world?

GFCS > God first, Courage second.
It’s a continuous journey of self-reflection and self-awareness — knowing what I bring to the table and meshing it with what people need from me. I don’t know why social media feels overwhelming, but I guess it’s because I’m constantly looking outside myself to be inspired… when all the inspiration is already within.

I have the content.
But not showing up and being inconsistent leaves me feeling forgotten — and that’s the opposite vibe I want to create.
Impact over influence.

I trust that God will reveal Himself to me, and I will walk the path that is meant for me — creating connections, collaborations, and supporting people along the way.

The time has come for my dreams to be heard.
All gas, Taasha Reneé.
Switch gears and ride to your destination.
You got this.
I love you… and God loves you more.”

The way God has been covering me my entire life — all I can say is Glory, Glory, Glory!

The above was a journal entry I wrote a little over two years ago, and I can’t tell you how many more pages I’ve written just like it. Prayers. Pleas & Seeking Purpose.

I was feeling lost, confused, without guidance… running in circles, barely making progress.

But it wasn’t until I slowed down and looked back at the evidence — all the words I’d written — that I realized: God was there all along. Waiting for me to return to Him.

I grew up in the church.
My grandmother has prayed over me for as long as I can remember. She’s been the anchor of faith in our family — whether we were walking in it or wandering from it.

From Pathfinders and church choirs to washing feet on Sabbath…
From religious schools — Methodist, A.M.E. Zion, and Seventh-day Adventist —
…I did it all.

But none of those things taught me how to truly build an intimate relationship with the Father.
I knew all the books of the Bible by heart, but never once opened them to learn about His.

And still… He was covering me.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
— Proverbs 22:6

All those prayers from my grandma, my mother, and strangers I’ll never know —
none of it was in vain.

“Return to me, and I will return to you.”
— Malachi 3:7

From that 2023 journal entry to the start of 2025, I never stopped searching — but I also never truly looked where He already was.

There’s so much I could say about this journey that one blog post can’t capture… but when God told me in January 2025 to “make room for the blessings to come,”
I listened.
And I obeyed.

Here’s what obedience looked like:

February 2025: My husband left his job after 13 years. No backup plan. Just faith.
March: We sat down and envisioned the future — and both knew we wanted more of God.
April: We attended church together as a family for the first time.
May: Our lease ended. We visited a city four hours away.
June: We packed everything and moved, trusting God the entire way + A Vulnerable Mom officially got registered as a trademark on our drive up after 2 years in process.
July: We settled in. I read Proverbs for the first time.
August: We stepped into community, met other families, and started growing in our faith.
September: My husband and I got baptized together.
October: We celebrated 15 years together, 9 years married, and 6 months of letting God lead our lives and marriage. We became official members of our church and began to serve.

Now, looking ahead to the rest of the year, I have just one desire:
To strengthen my faith and consecrate myself for a greater purpose.

For so long, I’ve searched for meaning in journaling, meditating, horoscopes, and human design readings. And still, I felt lost.

So I surrendered.

God has continued to reveal Himself in my marriage, my motherhood, and my community. I’m learning that my only purpose is to serve God — by serving others.

I don’t care if I look crazy to anyone else.
God is pruning me.
Rooting me.
Preparing me to bloom.

I don’t have it all figured out…
but the beauty is
I don’t have to.

With all my flaws.
With my past.
With my unbelief.
With all my baggage…

Jesus told me to lay it all at His feet.

I’m a new saint, old sinner…
and I love who I’m becoming.

That’s it.
That’s the post.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
— 2 Corinthians 5:17

Your past does not disqualify you.
It prepared you.
Now it’s time to walk in your becoming.